My feet were funky and started itching like a mother fucker. Eczema (also known as dermatitis) affects my hands and feet every year when the winter ends and spring begins. And all I’ve ever done to treat eczema is to bust out the moisturizer and, boom, Bob’s your uncle — the eczema goes away after a few days. But it’s not spring, and whatever was going on with my feet looked more intense than any eczema I’ve ever had. So I embarked on a medical mission to mend my funky feet.
Common knowledge suggested that I had developed Athlete’s Foot also known as tinea pedis. There were three events that may have irritated my feet to the point of contracting a foot fungus:
1) I started running with greater frequency with very, very old shoes and terrible socks;
2) I wore a borrowed a pair of shoes during an impromptu gym session with a friend; and/or
3) I went on a two-hour walk in the pouring rain while wearing soaking wet, dirty ol’ cowboy boots.
I showed my funky feet to a few friends, and most of them seemed to believe that a combination of the three aforementioned events caused my feet to develop Athlete’s Foot.
First Try to Cure my Funky Feet
Before I ran off (pardon the pun) to the pharmacy, I tried using straight up skin moisturizer. There was no change in the condition of my feet, and the itchiness wasn’t suppressed at all.
I ran off to the pharmacy and showed the nice lady wearing a lab coat my bare feet. She recommended that I try applying a 1% Hydrocortisone anti-itch cream twice a day, and, if the itchiness flared up between the hydrocortisone applications, to use Solarcaine soothing gel with pure aloe gel. The pharmacist emphasized that I must wash my hands before and after every application.
However, the funkiness on my feet didn’t subside. The 1% Hydrocortisone anti-itch cream wasn’t powerful enough to neutralize the itchiness for more than an hour, and my feet begun soaking up the Solarcaine soothing gel like a gluttonous Baked Ham.
I ran off to the walk in clinic to see someone who has over thirty 10 smart thoughts a day. The doctor dude didn’t really seem to know what was going on with my feet. The curious part of my visit with the doc is that he pointed out that there was a pattern to the condition. My left and right big toes weren’t affected, and there was a small, unaffected rectangle of skin behind the top of each toe.
The walk-in clinic doctor didn’t say definitively that I had Athlete’s Foot, but he did say that it’s possible that I had contracted a foot fungus. I ran out of the walk-in clinic with a prescription for a 30 gram tube of Lamisil and a 30 gram bottle of cream consisting of 0.1% Betaderm and 0.1% Betamethasone Valerate (a topical steroid cream).
The pharmacist who dispensed my prescriptions emphasized to wash my hands before applying Lamisil, to re-wash my hands before applying the steroid cream, and to re-wash my hands again. I was to apply these creams twice a day for three weeks or until my feet beat the funkiness. And the pharmacist said (and I paraphrase) that I keep my hands away from my cock and balls after my hands had felt my feet. I didn’t want to get foot fungus on an area of my body that should have zero fungus.
Three Days Later
The Lamisil and the 0.1% Betaderm & 0.1% Betamethasone Valerate creams were working. I had continued to run and workout despite my funky feet. Exercise didn’t seem to irritate my feet. But I did find that I had to apply the steroid cream in the middle of the afternoon. I suspected my daily run and workout soaked up the steroid-y goodness.
My Mum’s Advice
Pharmacists and doctors are good medical resources, but I still called my Mum to tell her about my funky feet. Mum does that whole Young Living thing. Every Tuesday she fires up her Facebook Page, goes live, and does a spiel about the essential oil of week. During my phone call with Mum, she requested that I give her a list of my complete essential oil inventory, and then she proceeded to name off a couple of oils that will assist my feet to recovery. After the call had ended, Mum sent me a few text messages. She determined that Tea Tree oil was the best oil to neutralize the funkiness.
I didn’t want to over saturate my feet, so I applied Tea Tree oil in-between the twice daily Lamisil and steroid creams. I found that the oil helped with the mild mid-day itchiness.
Five Days Later
After five days, I stopped using the 0.1% Betaderm & 0.1% Betamethasone Valerate creams. My feet were still funky, but the severe itchiness had subsided. I replaced the steroid cream with Tea Tree oil. So my twice daily Lamisil application was followed by an essential oil application.
Around the end of the fifth day of funkiness, the tops of my feet had begun to peel. I took it as a sign of healing. I continued to use the Solarcaine throughout the days as a means to keep my feet from turning into a horror show of dead skin.
Nine Days Later
I quit using my Lamisil prescription. Any obvious fungal irritation had subsided after seven days; and the pharmacist had recommended that I continued using Lamisil for 48 hours after all of the funky symptoms had disappeared. I didn’t want to use up all my Tea Tree oil, so I also quit using the essential oil. My feet, moreover, had become a horror show of dead skin. So I continued to use Solarcaine on my feet to help moisturize the healing skin.
It took between nine and ten days before I determined by feet to be exorcised of the fungal funkiness. I still pack around a little bit of Solarcaine, you know, just in case.
Jonah Kondro can be found on Facebook, Snapchat @jonahnecktattoo, and Twitter @JonahKondro.
I utilized an online photo editor, PINETOOLS to combine the images of my funky feet.